How do I begin to explain my experience of Pride? Well, if you happened to be wandering around Pride, you may have seen me…
In fact you may have even had a picture with me…
Perhaps you were part of the charming group who punched me? Or were you the one who threw a drink down my back?
Not one of those?
Then maybe you admitted your undying love for me, and asked for my hand in marriage?
Still not jogging any memories?
Drum roll please...
Well ladies and gents, that’s because that giant Peperami is indeed me. You may have referred to me as a floating penis, some of you even commented on my circumcision. Understandably I know you’re jealous. It’s hard not to be.
Experiencing Pride through the eyes of a penis-shaped sausage was somewhat eye-opening. I believe people refer to such activities as ‘gaining life experience’. Well an experience it certainly was. As for ‘life’, however, I’m pretty sure I saw the light at the end of the tunnel. Honestly, I thought it was the end of Jessica Hern. Death by Peperami.
Firstly to anyone wondering, I am a female, and yes, yes I am in a costume, novel I know. Secondly, to those of you who hugged, licked and kissed me, you were kind, and I thank you. On the other hand those who began conversation with ‘I want to kick you to the floor’, not so much. Folks, before you start whipping out those violins and pitying the poor defenceless Peperami, you might appreciate that I am a strong independent Peperami. You hit me, I hit you. OK fiiiiine. I try and hit you. In reality, I stroke you aggressively with my obscenely large foam fingers (which means I stroked a lot of you).
Aside from the glitz and glamor of life as a sausage - of which there is plenty… Pride to me is a celebration of what the world should always be: a chance for everyone to be exactly who they are. Peperami or not, I am damn lucky to live in a country filled with such support and love. You only had to take one look at Facebook to see just how far society has come, with people of all ages expressing their support by adding a rainbow filter to their profile.
Pride encompasses people from all backgrounds, regardless of faith, age, race or sexuality and encourages everyone to get involved and make some noise. Come on now, who doesn't love a parade through the streets of London? Even more so when it's rammed with more feathers, sequins and latex than you could ever comprehend. If you didn't shout Pride from the rooftops of London this time, then catch the Brighton Pride from the 1st to the 2nd of August, alternatively who needs dates, shout it all year long!
So ladies and gents, it's time to say goodbye, but if you do happen to stroll past a sausage, send us some love.
Lots of love,